Day 3

I have determined that working during a cleanse sucks!

As I said on Day 2 I had my cleanse shake at 12:30 am which is today and I decided to count it on today’s meals.  I did ok but I was hungry by 4am and decided to eat a snack. It calmed the hunger some but in no way was I satisfied.

Once I came home I was so hungry.  I always eat breakfast before I got to sleep.  I know it’s not good for me but it helps me sleep during the day.  Not eating anything during the morning was torture.  At least I could have my nighttime tea.  That helped a little bit.

Once I woke up it was whole different matter.  I should think about making my shake ahead of time because when I woke up I only had enough time to get ready before I had to pick up my son from school and take him to Brain Balance.

30 min after I woke up I was starving there was no way I could wait another hour plus I was running on fumes.  Not having caffeine on the days, I work and the day after is very hard for me. Maybe as I continue this cleanse I will be able to but today it was not happening.

I ended up in my friendly neighborhood Starbucks and ordered a Grande Vanilla Latte and a gluten-free breakfast sandwich.  I won’t lie it tasted so good probably better than it should because I was starving.

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Day Two

My first day was not a complete cleanse day since I slept half the day away. Today was just the opposite because it was an almost 24-hour day.  I got up at 7 am and didn’t go to bed until after 9 am the next day!  This happens on the days that I work.  The cleanse talks about having a 12-hour window between your meals to achieve a deep clean.  Shouldn’t be a problem if I was sleeping but when I am awake it is harder. Still, I was going to try.

Verdict: I failed miserably. 

Well at least I tried.   I had my pumpkin shake at 12:30 am that way when I woke up at 1 pm I would have an empty stomach for 12 hours but around 4 am I was starving.  I was bummed but I have to listen to my body, right?  I had an apple with almond butter and some nuts but it truly didn’t satisfy.  I wanted breakfast.  I supposed other people did too so I just sucked it up.

Overall, it wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t great but I didn’t cheat and that counts for something.

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Day One

My first day didn’t go as planned but I made the most of it.  I had planned to get up, drink my first shake, take my son to school and then go to exercise.  Instead after I dropped him off I went back to sleep.

I was exhausted from working the last three nights and not sleeping well on Monday night.  I knew I needed to catch up and catch up I did.  I slept (according to my Fitbit) for 2 hours and 49 minutes. Once I woke up I felt so much better. Tonight, I will go to bed early and continue to sleep. I am going to try and get as close as 8 hours sleep as I can when I am not working.

Overall, I feel good about how I ate.  I forgot to take my cleanse supplements at dinner. That is something I must be aware about this since I am not used to taking pills throughout the day.

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21 Day Cleanse: Email Day 1

Day 1   Big Idea: Keep an Open Mind

Welcome M!

Today’s the day.

You might be feeling nervous, excited, or a mix of both. This is normal. The most important part is that you are here. You’ve made a commitment to showing up. We’re so proud of you. So let’s get to it!

The 21-Day Clean Program is both invigorating and challenging. It encourages you to draw upon resources within yourself that you might not have known you had. As you cleanse, focus on the positive efforts you are making to improve your health and wellbeing.

Take all that new energy and excitement and funnel it into showing up everyday and following through. Don’t overthink it. The structure of the program is your friend and it will guide you. We’ve seen it work thousands of times.

Each day is a new opportunity to learn more and gain a deeper understanding of what works well for you and your body. Keep an open mind through this process and be kind to yourself during your cleanse.

So take a deep breath, smile, and give it all you got!

We’ll be there to support you every step of the way.

Take Action

Share Your Journey: Our community site, My Clean Program, it’s a great place for you to reflect about your authentic daily experiences. We’re all about honesty here, so share what works for you and what doesn’t. Allow our community to keep you accountable, inspired, and supported.

Viva la Clean!


My Reasons To Cleanse

  1. To honor my body, my mind, and my spirit
  2. To be strong, powerful, and fit
  3. To build health and boost longevity
  4. To conquer my food issues, once and for all
  5. To learn the power of moderation, freeing myself from my current hell of “all or nothing”
  6. To instill cravings for the things I know to be good for me (clean food and exercise) instead of cravings for the things I know to be bad.
  7. To erase the guilt of… everything!
  8. To feel proud when I look in the mirror, knowing that I look and feel my best
  9. To lose the weight that has resulted from lack of exercise and poor diet choices
  10. To model to others what it means to be confident and beautiful and at peace in your skin
  11. To start taking care of myself—in all areas of my life
  12. To enter my 40s feeling better than when I entered my 20s
  13. To harbor lightness and energy in my body instead of heaviness and stagnation
  14. To prevent disease and the accompanying potential financial burdens (medical expenses, lack of income, etc)
  15. To replace fear with knowledge
  16. To live the fullest, happiest life I can
  17. To appreciate my so-far lack of medical issues and to not “jinx” it
  18. To engage in physical play with my very active child, without growing tired
  19. To become the best of me
  20. To strive for constant improvement and learning on my health journey, not perfection (knowing perfection is unattainable)
  21. To uncover any hidden food allergies that may be present
  22. To seek a higher level of understanding about my unique and special body
  23. To develop intuitive eating and hunger cues
  24. To transfer energy to the things that matter most
  25. To gain focus and clarity to my priorities
  26. To create a new mindset
  27. To find a new path, as the one I have been following no longer supports my needs
  28. To dig deep within myself to accomplish this very hard thing, knowing that with continued practice it will become effortless

These are my motivations.

Skinny Thinking — Daily Thoughts #1

These 242 thoughts are daily reminders to help you align with your true self and cultivate a wise, pragmatic relationship with food and your body.

There’s a way of thinking about food that’s a problem, and a
way of thinking about it that isn’t a problem, and the
problematic way corresponds to feeling out of control around
food and to having a heavier body. Your relationship with food,
which is based on how you think about it, makes all the
difference. You have different relationships with your mother,
your brother, your friend, your boss, and your lover, and you
think about all of those people differently. In the same way, you
have an easy or challenging relationship with food, depending
on the way you habitually think about it.

DAY 1 — Five Minute Freedom Exercise

It’s Day 1 of your Skinny Thinking Challenge!
Here is your Five Minute Freedom Exercise for Day.
You will also find that this exercise has been provided in an attachment for you to print and work on separately.
To make the best use of these Daily Exercises, it is advised to print the attached and keep each days exercise together in a folder or notebook so you can have a record of your journey to changing your relationship with food, weight and your body.
Enjoy Day 1~

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OMG — Breathe


I didn’t feel fat
Until I saw the number
Blinking back at me

Nothing has changed
Since yesterday, except
Maybe a pound, two, or five?

Deep breaths
In through the nose
Out through the mouth

You are healthy
You are beautiful
There is nothing wrong with you

A distant voice whispers
I need to believe this


Numbers don’t lie
I am fat.

Stark Reality

I woke up dreading what I was about to do this morning.

“Do I have to?” I asked myself as I took one big breath. “Can I just go forget about taking measurements and live a normal life?”

Sure, I could, but I know I won’t be happy with the way I felt about myself and everyone around me would suffer from my unhappiness.
That’s good motivation but what pushes the most is the drive to not fail and give up. Last year I joined The Camp. The camp is a place where they promise that if you follow their instructions you can lose 20 lbs. in 6 weeks. It is a structured and rigid program that for my type of personality it suited me well. I need some sort of accountability to make me eat according to their meal plan and exercise 5 days a week.

I hate to say this but I just can’t do it on my own. I am too weak-willed and easily give in to excuses.  This program was just what I needed and I lost 22 lbs. in 6 weeks. I was ecstatic and so proud of myself and rejoiced that others were super proud of me as well. I thought this is it I did it and I won’t ever go back to being the weight I was.

I wish I could tell you that was the case but it wasn’t and once the program ended I slowly started to gain the weight back due to the holidays and other family events. I gained some weight but I was still happy with myself and I was still working out and eating relatively well. Then as time went on I stopped working out and I was surprised how fast I was gaining weight. I couldn’t believe it. I was still eating clean and it was clear that my diet alone wasn’t the answer. I went back to The Camp in May and did a 21-day detox that worked wonderfully for me. Not only did I lose weight but inches as well. I was in high heaven.

(((Fit body here we come)))

Or so I thought.

June came and went, Nov left rather quickly and now it’s December and I am at my heaviest.

My thoughts were confirmed this morning and while I am sad and disappointed I am going to use these emotions to keep me motivated and on track.

While I like the idea of having someone, whether is a place or person, motivate me to stay on track I’ve seen in this last year that this is not sustainable in the long run. People have their own lives and while the places are available 24/7 they can get expensive. So, I think I need to find a way to make myself accountable.  I just don’t know what that is right now.  😦

One more thing, I am going to put my stats here and share them, not because I want to shame myself but because I think it would help me.


I wrote this a long time ago. I need to believe this again…

Is just like me
Is my age, smiles at the same jokes, cries at the same sad stories
Walks past me and in my mind I say
Is getting fit
Believes she is beautiful but why does my mind demean her?
Is loving the way her clothes fit but why does my mind run to the way her clothes don’t look right
Is trying to change me from my misperceptions of pretty
Is succeeding
Is unique and so am I



The poet in me give me the words I need
That I can learn this simple creed,
So I may know the way of life
Enjoy the good, keep out the strife.

Self-discipline is my desire
It will keep me out of the fire,
To increase my own will power
I will not cower.

Emotions are the way I feel
Control of them, they are the real deal,
So I can reason, good or bad
Then keep the joy and shun the sad.

Imagination can light the fire
Can create a vision higher,
My conscience is my judge each day
So I can choose a better way.

In my memory, can impress
All the good I need address,
So in my mind I have power
To live my life this very hour.

Self-discipline it is my creed
And it will give me all I need,
To set the goal I can complete
So I can create a life that’s sweet.